TOTAL DRAMA ACTION: STRAIGHT TO DVD
by lilacsnshit
Summary: After several angry emails Chris was persuaded to continue TDA, with MORE genres and MORE drama. But an atrocious editing error lead season 2.5 to become a buried relic. Something that only the most dedicated of fans would witness. Something...STARRING YOUR OCS! (rated T because teenagers swear and make out and such) *APPS CLOSED*
1. CONTESTANTS

Boys:

1\. Adam McLine (The Notorious Prankster) (ShortAsVegeta)

2\. Vladimir Biscoitti (no stereotype) (7doom)

3\. Alexander Matthews (The Kingpin of Evil) (Jeptwin)

4\. Jason Jones (The Overprotective Brother) (thegirlwholived91)

5\. Jordan Carson (The Youtuber Wannabe) (PretzelNinja)

6\. Marco Korps (The Photographer) (Technique Fantasy)

7\. Tarquin James (no stereotype) (SophiaCrutchfeild)

8\. Jack Sharp (The Hero Wannabe) (Call Me Ishmael (Guest))

9\. Alan Jonathan Brooks (The Chivalrous Pervert) (JVM-SP150)

10\. Adonis Aeneas (The Nice Heartthrob) (apandeinfinity)

Girls:

1\. Sasha Skalar (The Army Kid) (ShortAsVegeta)

2\. Lillyanne Forester (The Rebellious "Princess") (Rkidd1112)

3\. Chloe Watson (The Fandom Geek) (invaderzimdibfan)

4\. Cashmere Johnson (The Western Artist) (BunniesAreNotCookies)

5\. Tamry Hadid (The Friendly Punk/Goth/whatever) (me.)

6\. Emily Jones (The Sarcastic Bookworm) (thegirlwholived91)

7\. Hailey Wilson (The Adorable Fashionista) (Elizabeth Fire Ice Heart)

8\. Okiku Sarisi (no stereotype) (SophiaCrutchfeild)

9\. Rowan Collins (The Rich Girl) (Eeliab8)

10\. Aatifa Mata (The Pocket Rocket) (7doom)


	2. DISCLAIMERS I GUESS

Ok! WE CAN GET STARTED

some general things:

-the first chapter will be up saturday-ish

-feel completely free to pm me if i fucked up your character in any way

-i will be setting up polls in my profile and that's how elimination is going to work

-also feel free to pm me if you see a character that you'd like your oc to befriend/get in a relationship with

-this fic will have swearing, so establish it right away if you're uncomfortable with your oc being written that way

-otherwise, please enjoy this fic!


	3. Introduction

**first chapt! it's kinda hard to introduce 20 characters in one go without it being kinda awkward and clunky so bear with me. I'll try to make the writing better in chapters where they're actually doing things. please feel free to pm me if you have questions or concerns!**

 _Chris McLean is sat in front of a definitely not HD tv, sat on a definitely not satin couch with his colleague Chef. This is the last place he wants to be at 3 AM on a Saturday._

 _Chef shuffles awkwardly in his seat, trying to avoid their knees touching as he slips a unlabeled DVD into the slot at the bottom of his television set._

 _"_ _Sorry for getting you up so early. Just figured you'd wanna see this."_

 _The screen shows a "reading disc" message for a few seconds and then it begins to play the first episode of the newly recorded season: Total Drama: Revenge of the Sequels. Chris feels himself automatically bristle just thinking about it._

 _"_ _What's the fucking problem?" It's 3 AM. He hates this show. He has full right to be a snappy bitch._

 _"_ _You'll see."_

The view pans across an eery stretch of concrete and domes buildings. The ground is littered with broken stage lights and what looks like squashed mannequin heads. There's a figure in the distance, a tiny shadow between a building labeled Lot A and one labeled Lot B. The camera zooms towards this figure.

As the audience moves close, the figure begins to form features. A crooked nose. A gleaming black wig. A blindingly white smile. Black eyes that seemed to have died a season ago.

It's Chris McLean.

The camera gets uncomfortably close to his face. He clears his throat pointedly without a waver in his smile and it backs up a little.

He starts yelling.

"WELCOME, WELCOME, OLD FANS AND FRESH FACES! TO NOT REALLY BRAND NEW BUT I GUESS THAT DOESN'T MATTER RIGHT NOW SEASON OF -pause for dramatic effect- TOTAAAAAAAALLLLLLL DRRAAAAMMMMMAAAAAAA!"

He beams at the camera for an awkward few seconds, as if waiting for an imaginary hooting crown to settle down.

"Now, the feedback for our second season, Total Drama Action was so…uh. _Tremendous._ That we simply _had_ to make a continuation!" He holds out his arm and an offscreen intern passes him a stack of papers, "Such stunning reviews as: 'You fucking fuckwads how did you fucking fuck up this fucking season so fucking bad you fucking missed s many fucking obvious as fuck genres fucking fuck,' from Harriet Michaels, age 17, from Ontario."

 _"_ _Oh."_

 _Chef nods grimly, "Yeah."_

 _Chris rubs his face. Their fucking editors didn't bleep out swear words. The fucking editors with expired contracts didn't bleep out swear words. The channel would refuse to air it. That was millions of dollars down the fucking drain._

 _And this was a particularly nasty season._

"THANKS HARRIET," On screen Chris throws the papers out of shot, "BECAUSE OF YOU AND THE MAJORITY OF OUR VIEWERS THAT SHARED YOUR MINDSET WE GET A WHOLE OTHER SEASON OF THIS MOVIE-THEMED TEENAGE SHENANIGANS! OH BOY!"

Chris looks like something deep inside his soul had cracked.

The low rumble of bus tires sounds from off screen.

"I THINK THAT'S OUR CONTESTANTS!"

The camera man seems glad to longer be at the brunt of Chris McLean's rage. The view hastily moves to a dingy off-white bus that has just stopped in front of Lot A. Total Drama Tour Bus is spray painted on the side in crooked black letters. All the windows are broken. Even at a full stop it's belching black smoke out of it's tailpipe. This is not FDA approved.

Chef storms out of the driver's seat and kicks the door open, causing half the buses occupants to jump in their termites-infested seats.

Chris pulls a crumpled up piece of paper from his wallet and begins reading off from it.

"First up we have…ALAN BROOKS!"

A dirty blond, hoodie clad and bespectacled stick of a boy shuffles out from the back of the bus. His backpack is twice the width of his body and his grin seems too big for his face.

"Hey, Chris! It's great to be here!" Alan shakes his hosts hand and his grin is unwavering as he looks about his dismal setting, "Chef wouldn't let me talk to anyone on the bus, but it seems to be a pretty cool group!"

"Yeah. Sure, kid."

Alan takes his place behind Chris and laughs nervously at a decapitated mannequin lying at his feet.

"Next: JACK SHARP!"

The next boy at the door smiles at every girl he passes on his way out. He's the image of American idealism; all toothy grinning and blond waves. Chef seems to hate him immediately.

He makes a show out of shaking everyone's hand before standing straight-backed next to Alan.

Chris is already exhausted.

"MARCO KORPS!"

Another boy. This one has wavy red hair and seems to be a lot less sure of himself than the first two. He's fidgeting a little with the camera around his neck.

"Uh. Hi!"

Chris looks bored, but the two blonde boys behind him grin and wave so hard it looks like their arms and mouths are going to fall off.

Marco joins them behind Chris, but seems to be giving them a wide berth. He begins to look around his surroundings, more fascinated than discouraged.

"OKIKU SARISI!"

An asian girl with black braids steps of the bus, and is immediately followed by a boy. The boy's grinning and looking around. Okiku is staring straight ahead.

Chris is so tired.

"So. Are you both named Okiku Sarisi?"

The boy smiles at Chris, either ignoring or oblivious to his hostility, "Nah, I'm Tarquin. Tarquin James," He walks over to Chris, with Okiku following him, and takes a peek at his list, "Yeah. I'm a couple names down. I just figured I'd come along with my bestie." He punches Okiku in the shoulder and starts looking around again, "Cool place you got here."

Chris imagines he should try to be funny and shove the fucker back into the bus, but he hasn't even had his coffee yet. It's just not happening.

"Fine, whatever. Go stand with the others."

Tarquin smiles and shakes a couple hands. Okiku stands separate from the group and waits for Tarquin to join her.

Chris goes begrudgingly back to his list.

"EMILY JONES."

It happens again.

A girl with a Harry Potter tote bag steps off the bus and a boy comes right along with her. Though this one looks more like a brother than a "bestie," judging by the way he's already glaring at all the semi-attractive boys in the crowd.

"Wait your turn, asshole." Emily rolls her eyes and shoves him before taking her last step off the bus. He follows her anyway.

Chris skims his list, "I'm guessing you're… Jason Jones?"

"Yeah."

Chris seems to be trying to muster up the stamina to be annoying, "A brother and sister pair, huh? This could get interesting…"

Emily ignores him and walks to join the group. Jason isn't too far behind, although instead of being silent, he's muttering, "Are you sure this place is safe? It doesn't look safe. Should we go home? I think we should go home. Going home seems like a great idea right now. There are _so_ many safety hazards."

"Shut up, Jason."

Marko starts to offer a greeting to Emily, but Jason's glare shuts him right up.

Emily punches him in the rib and smiles at Marko.

Chris moves on, "CASHMERE JOHNSON!"

Alan seems to be feeling a lot better about his situation as a tall girl with dark red hair and hefty…endowments steps gingerly off the bus.

"Hello." She flashes sparkling white teeth and a heavy western accent at her audience, "It's nice to be here."

"Maybe you should host this fucking show." Chris pushes her into the group before she can get too far along into her speech.

She stands in between Marko and Alan and smiles warmly at them both.

Alan hikes up the sleeves of his hoodie and seems to be going into "cool dude" mode, "Hey."

"Hi."

"So. Uh. What's a beauty like you doing in a dump like this?"

Chris makes the camera pan away before he vomits.

"CHLOE WATSON!"

A chubby girl with tangled brown hair and a fandom t-shirt practically catapults herself out of the bus.

"HI! CHRIS! WOW YOU LOOK JUST LIKE YOU DO ON TV!"

She thrusts out her hand and he shakes it gingerly. She looks over his shoulder and her eyes widen even more. She makes a beeline for Emily.

"I like your tote bag!"

Emily smiles, a tad awkwardly, "Harry Potter fan?"

"Yeah! The BIGGEST! Who's your favorite character?"

"Definitely Draco."

"Really? Why?"

Alan's on the scene, "Hey, can I slytherin?" He says with eyebrows a-waggle.

They're talking loudly with full hand gestures. They don't seem to notice him. Jason grabs him by the front of his hoodie and shakes him anyway.

The contestant halfway mark has been reached. The camera pans across the group. Marko and Cashmere are talking animatedly over what looks like Cashmere's sketchbook. Tarquin is poking and prodding and trying to talk to Okiku, who seems to be ignoring him. Jack is grinning widely and standing straight-backed, even though no one is talking to him.

"VLADIMIR BISCOITTI!"

All conversation stops as a 6"8 willow tree of a boy seemingly floats off the bus with how graceful his steps are

"Hello." His voice is soft and tinged with an accent, "My name is Vladimir. It is nice to meet you all."

Jason seems to stunned to glare. Even Okiku stops staring at the space above Tarquin's head.

He drifts over to the rest of the group, looking a little unsettled by everyone's silence.

Emily is the first to speak to him, "You look like a Vulcan."

He starts, "What?"

Jason shoves her out of the way, this time he seems more embarrassed than protective of her, "Jesus, Emily. That's fucking rude."

The next boy was even prettier.

"ADONIS AENEAS!"

Vladimir's eyes widen. Every slightly gay boy and every slightly straight girl swoons.

His skin is brown, his eyelashes are thick, his cheekbones are high, and when he opens his mouth his voice is rich and buttery. "Hi." Chloe drools a little.

He shakes hands with Chris, who has bore witness to Justin and isn't quite as impressed.

When he steps into the crowd, everyone gives him a wide berth, as if he's blinding them.

Hardly anyone looks at the next contestant.

"LILYANNE FORESTER!"

"IT'S LILY!" A girl shrieks back before hopping off the bus.

About a quarter of the contestants blink away from Adonis and look at her, the rest remain spellbound.

The girl's skin is soft and peachy and her eyes are round and innocent, contradicting the rips in her jeans and the half of her hair that she's shaved off. Her eyes magnet towards Adonis but she pulls them sharply away.

"Is this where we're competing? It's a dump!"

Chris is already back to his list, "Yeah. Sure. Whatever, rich girl."

Her expression turns furious, she opens her mouth to retort, but is cut off.

"AATIFA MATA!"

The girl waits for a still fuming Lily to step out of the doorway before she comes out herself. Adonis (now grinning and waving like a pageant queen) still holds most of the attention, but a few more eyes point towards the bus at the sight of Aatifa's bright blue hijab.

She grins sheepishly at her audience and gently shakes Chris's hand before joining them.

She gives Adonis and small, "Hi," and stands by him, which immediately solidifies her and someone much braver than any of the present contestants.

"JORDAN CARSON!"

The footage switches from the cameraman's view of Chris in front of the bus to a a shaky lower quality cellphone camera. The view looks up the nostrils of a boy with silvery hair inside the bus.

"I think they called my name," He whispers, "Wish me luck, guys!"

( _"He could pull that shit, but couldn't bleep some fucking swear words?"_ )

The episode cuts back to the main camera, which shows Jordan, now holding his phone over his head, and still talking into it, step off the bus.

He swivels his body so he can Chris into his shot, "GUYS! IT'S CHRIS MCLEAN! THIS IS SO EXCITING!"

Chris's mouth muscles automatically move into the a smile in the presence of a cellphone camera, but he doesn't seem happy about it.

Jordan moves into the group, still filming, "And I guess these are my friends for the next few weeks. That's pretty cool, huh?" He moves his camera down to eye level, "Well, that's enough for now. I'll try to keep you guys updated as I go on my Total Drama adventure! And I'll try to be back on my regular skit making schedule ASAP! Leave a like if you…haha, LIKE these vlogs and be sure to comment and subscribe! Crimson Kid out!" He ends his video and turns to smile at his fellow contestants, "What do you guys think is a good title for the new vlog series? I'm thinking…Total Drama Crimson! Or something like that." No one really responds to him. His smile falters a little.

"SASHA SKALAR!"

The girl that steps off the bus couldn't be more than 5"0, but she radiates a kind of unadulterated power that makes her seem even larger than Vladimir. The blows her blonde fringe out of her face, brushes bus cushion fuzz of her camo pants and stomps past Chris directly into the group. Rather than scaring them, she seems to make them want to stand up straighter and obey orders. Only Okiku and Lily look skeptical. Alan doesn't even seem a little tempted to hit on her.

Chris starts yelling again, trying to assert dominance before the kids go nuts and overthrow him, "ADAM MCLINE."

This one has the opposite vibe. He's past 6 foot, but his shaggy hair and slouchy posture make him unthreatening. Though his fidgety fingers and glinting eyes seem to give something away.

"Hey, people." His accent is french.

When he goes to shake Chris's hand, Chris jolts back in shock and Adam cackles. He holds up the buzzer on his palm. Chris looks like he's trying hard not to punch him.

"Go stand with the others."

"K, bro." He sends Lily some finger guns and makes a cocking sound with his teeth. She promptly ignores him.

"ROWAN COLLINS."

"What the fuck." The next girl to step off the bus is carrying three massive suitcases, decked out in all Gucci and looking like someone just handed her a big mac and called is gourmet, "What the fuck is this place. What the fuck?"

Sasha looks immediately hostile. Aatifa looks like she's had a headache for the past 100 years.

"Go stand with the group, princess." Chris appears to be having violent Heather and Anne Maria flashbacks.

"I'm leaving. This is bullshit. WHAT THE FUCK."

Chris ignores her, "HAILEY WILSON!"

The next girl has braided blonde hair and a sickeningly cute outfit. She stands on tiptoes to see over Rowan's bags, "Um. Pardon me."

Rowan's not moving, "I'm _not_ staying here for half a month. _No_ it's _not_ happening."

None of the interns look like they want to deal with her. Chris doesn't either.

Sasha rolls her eyes and storms forward. Until she's nearly nose to nose with Rowan.

" _Look_ , rich girl, you'd better step right the fuck off the bus and get right the fuck in line before _make you_."

She doesn't seem intimidated.

"I'm getting back on the bus." She hoists up her bags and nearly knocks Hailey over as she stomps back.

"Um. Thank you." Hailey smiles somewhat confusedly at Sasha.

Sasha turns bright red and sprints back to the rest of the group.

Hailey steps gingerly out of the bus and brushes off her skirt. She still doesn't look entirely sure about her situation.

"Um. Hello, Chris. Hi. E- Everyone…"

She joins the group, standing next to Vladimir and feeling the material of his shirt. He gives her a look but doesn't say anything.

"ALEXANDER MATTHEWS!" Chris does a double take at his own list, "What? Wait."

A blonde boy carrying nothing but a single backpack steps off the bus, "Uncle Chris! It's good to see you."

"Uh. Hello, Alex."

Alexander slaps his uncle's back and saunters into the group, his smile gleaming. And his eyes darting.

Chris mutters for one of his interns to get him an aspirin.

There's one last person on the list and Chris is practically crying in relief, "TAMRY HADID!"

A few people hear heavy metal background music in their heads as she clomps off the bus in massive combat boots and black lipstick.

The heavy metal immediately turns into the Wii U theme song as she trips over her own feet and lands on her face.

"Fuck. Shit. Wow. This is embarrassing." She springs up to her feet and shakes out her green hair, "Uh. Hi. I'm Tamry. You can call me Tam, I guess. Nice to meet you guys."

Chris shoves her out of shot and takes center stage, "AND THAT'S EVERYBODY!" He turns to his audience of mostly distracted teenagers.

Chloe and Emily have moved on to the topic of Sherlock. Jason paces protectively around them. All three of them are side-eyeing Adonis, who seems to be holding a friendly conversation with Aatifa. Tarquin has started talking to Alex, despite Okiku's glaring. Tamry is already holding a animated conversation with Jordan, despite haven fallen twice in a row. Cashmere has started drawing and Marco has started to take pictures of her drawing. Vladimir and Hailey are discussing in depth about all their favorite fabrics and styles of menswear. Adam continues trying to flirt with Lily, to seemingly no avail. Jack tries to talk to Sasha, who still seems a little sulky about not scaring Rowan. Rowan's still pouting in the bus.

"Chef, get that ho out of the bus. We need even teams."

Sounds of scuffling come from the bus and by the time Chef finally emerges, Rowan is slung over his shoulder with duct tape covering the entire lower half of her face.

He hands her to Sasha, "Keep her in place for me, kid."

Sasha cracks her knuckles and obeys.

Chris beams at his new set of contestants and only Jordan and Tamry beam back.

"Chloe, Emily, Sasha, Cashmere, Okiku, Jason, Vladimir, Jack, Marco and Alex! You are the Glittering Snakes!"

Chloe and Emily grin at each other. Sasha drops Rowan from her headlock but glares at her one last time to let her know to not start anymore shit. Okiku's originally bored and hooded eyes turn wide and scared as Tarquin's name isn't called after hers. He shrugs and smiles and prompts her to join her group. Chris tosses a blanket with a snake covered in glitter clue drawn on it. Vladimir takes it to the face.

"Aatifa, Tamry, Hailey, Rowan, Lilyanne, Alan, Jordan, Tarquin, Adonis and Adam! You are the Rabid Ducks!"

They get the same blanket treatment, but their's has a mallard with pointy fangs. It lands on Alan and takes off his glasses. Rowan wrestles with her duct tape and the rest of her team gets acquainted with each other.

"IT'S TIME TO START… A NEW SEASON OF TOTAAALLLLLLL DRAAAMMMAAA! MORE EXCITEMENT! MORE GENRES! MORE DRAMMMMAAAAA! Our first challenge….:THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE!"

 **(there will be a poll on my profile for voting people off)**


	4. updatey thing

hey guys. really sorry, but i'm gonna need another half a week to a week to work on the chapter. i got half of it written and then changed my mind about something that made me need to delete a massive chunk of it so i'm essentially starting over. thank you for being patient with me. i'll try to have it up at soon as i possibly can.


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